dalvit

i'm a sucker for a semicolon.

Sun, 13 Aug 2006 10:18:22 GMT

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hilarious

my summer vacation in 3 words (and six pictures) or less.

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 19:35:27 GMT

see you saturday.

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 20:21:47 GMT

Fri, 23 Jun 2006 03:21:01 GMT

webmd doesn't pull up any results for "sandy vaginas," so i'm unable to help you guys out. you could try rinsing them, i guess. sorry i can't be of more help.

this is not a metaphor.

Mon, 19 Jun 2006 00:27:00 GMT

I am always thirsty.

this is the greatest news i have ever read.

Wed, 14 Jun 2006 02:35:48 GMT

http://arizona.diamondbacks.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/news/article.jsp?ymd=20060613&content_id=1503021&vkey=news_ari&fext=.jsp&c_id=ari

Thu, 08 Jun 2006 05:12:03 GMT

fuck.

to you kids out there

Sat, 06 May 2006 22:23:39 GMT

it's important to do everything to the extreme; recycling and duis are no exception.

letter of the day: backwards "k"

Fri, 05 May 2006 04:10:03 GMT

there's nothing in life i love more than baseball. it's probably safe to say that that will never change.

see you tomorrow.

it's definately sucking.

Sat, 11 Mar 2006 01:12:46 GMT

i wish it was still funny to talk about the avian flu that was going around for a while. then it might be humorous for me to suggest that whatever is making me sick is somewhat related. maybe something like chicken aids, or avian gingivitis. it's not though, it's probably just regular aids.

Mon, 20 Feb 2006 00:01:49 GMT

i take back some of what i said about the olympics, because curling is the "shit."

all other events still blow.

the thought of baseball is my valentine.

Tue, 14 Feb 2006 00:13:20 GMT

pitchers and catchers report in 3 days, 18 hours.

Wed, 01 Feb 2006 10:27:11 GMT

boycott me.

Tue, 31 Jan 2006 04:39:35 GMT

the last two days i have been having trouble with my debit card, and by that i mean, whenever i enter my pin number, it says, "invalid pin number." for this reason, i have been running it as credit everywhere i have been going. then, tonight at dinner, the card was declined. after calling to check my ballance, and discovering that i have plenty of money in my account, i called the bank to find out what was going on. as it turns out, i have been spending all of josh davit's money, because our cards were mixed up at casey moore's the other night. sorry josh, whoever you are, i hope you didn't spend any of my money.

I really just had this dream.

Tue, 10 Jan 2006 16:36:21 GMT

God: I'm sorry.
Me: What are you sorry for, God?
God: Look at you, Jason. I'm just sorry.
Me: Eh, I'll be okay.

i refuse to have children, because if i were to have a daughter...

Tue, 03 Jan 2006 11:00:49 GMT

there have been an awful lot of boy cats meowing at my little girl lately, and it makes me quite uncomfortable. she is not aloud to start dating yet, nor will she ever be, so i make her wear her "tough" collar, hoping that these asshole cats understand that they have no chance. if that doesn't work, i might have to buy a pellet gun.

Thu, 29 Dec 2005 21:26:17 GMT

so, uh...new years eve, eh?

you know what's better than christmas?

Sat, 24 Dec 2005 04:04:47 GMT

everything.

Wed, 30 Nov 2005 06:14:52 GMT

I'm glad it's only once a year; I hate Christmas.

Fri, 25 Nov 2005 09:36:35 GMT

you are really loud, but you're yet to make any noise.

oh cramer

Thu, 24 Nov 2005 17:48:17 GMT

I'm glad you made it.

Wed, 23 Nov 2005 10:06:02 GMT

oh, sobriety...
...you are so pointless.

bummer.

Tue, 22 Nov 2005 20:57:23 GMT

my car won't start, so i just had it towed to the dealership.
carless once again.

coming to a face near yours...

Fri, 18 Nov 2005 10:10:49 GMT

...you can't stop this big-apple-funny.

Sun, 13 Nov 2005 18:21:11 GMT

Happy Birthday, PeePee!