dalvit

i'm a sucker for a semicolon.

2006-08-13T10:18:22Z

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/hilarious

my summer vacation in 3 words (and six pictures) or less.

2006-08-08T19:35:27Z

see you saturday.

2006-07-17T20:21:47Z

dalvit @ 2006-06-22T20:14:00

2006-06-23T03:21:01Z

webmd doesn't pull up any results for "sandy vaginas," so i'm unable to help you guys out. you could try rinsing them, i guess. sorry i can't be of more help.

this is not a metaphor.

2006-06-19T00:27:00Z

I am always thirsty.

this is the greatest news i have ever read.

2006-06-14T02:35:48Z

http://arizona.diamondbacks.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/news/article.jsp?ymd=20060613&content_id=1503021&vkey=news_ari&fext=.jsp&c_id=ari

dalvit @ 2006-06-07T22:13:00

2006-06-08T05:12:03Z

fuck.

to you kids out there

2006-05-06T22:23:39Z

it's important to do everything to the extreme; recycling and duis are no exception.

letter of the day: backwards "k"

2006-05-05T04:10:03Z

there's nothing in life i love more than baseball. it's probably safe to say that that will never change.

see you tomorrow.

it's definately sucking.

2006-03-11T01:12:46Z

i wish it was still funny to talk about the avian flu that was going around for a while. then it might be humorous for me to suggest that whatever is making me sick is somewhat related. maybe something like chicken aids, or avian gingivitis. it's not though, it's probably just regular aids.

dalvit @ 2006-02-19T17:00:00

2006-02-20T00:01:49Z

i take back some of what i said about the olympics, because curling is the "shit."

all other events still blow.

the thought of baseball is my valentine.

2006-02-14T00:13:20Z

pitchers and catchers report in 3 days, 18 hours.

dalvit @ 2006-02-01T03:24:00

2006-02-01T10:27:11Z

boycott me.

dalvit @ 2006-01-30T21:32:00

2006-01-31T04:39:35Z

the last two days i have been having trouble with my debit card, and by that i mean, whenever i enter my pin number, it says, "invalid pin number." for this reason, i have been running it as credit everywhere i have been going. then, tonight at dinner, the card was declined. after calling to check my ballance, and discovering that i have plenty of money in my account, i called the bank to find out what was going on. as it turns out, i have been spending all of josh davit's money, because our cards were mixed up at casey moore's the other night. sorry josh, whoever you are, i hope you didn't spend any of my money.

I really just had this dream.

2006-01-10T16:36:21Z

God: I'm sorry.
Me: What are you sorry for, God?
God: Look at you, Jason. I'm just sorry.
Me: Eh, I'll be okay.

i refuse to have children, because if i were to have a daughter...

2006-01-03T11:00:49Z

there have been an awful lot of boy cats meowing at my little girl lately, and it makes me quite uncomfortable. she is not aloud to start dating yet, nor will she ever be, so i make her wear her "tough" collar, hoping that these asshole cats understand that they have no chance. if that doesn't work, i might have to buy a pellet gun.

dalvit @ 2005-12-29T14:26:00

2005-12-29T21:26:17Z

so, uh...new years eve, eh?

you know what's better than christmas?

2005-12-24T04:04:47Z

everything.

dalvit @ 2005-11-29T23:16:00

2005-11-30T06:14:52Z

I'm glad it's only once a year; I hate Christmas.

dalvit @ 2005-11-25T02:36:00

2005-11-25T09:36:35Z

you are really loud, but you're yet to make any noise.

oh cramer

2005-11-24T17:48:17Z

I'm glad you made it.

dalvit @ 2005-11-23T03:05:00

2005-11-23T10:06:02Z

oh, sobriety...
...you are so pointless.

bummer.

2005-11-22T20:57:23Z

my car won't start, so i just had it towed to the dealership.
carless once again.

coming to a face near yours...

2005-11-18T10:10:49Z

...you can't stop this big-apple-funny.

dalvit @ 2005-11-13T11:21:00

2005-11-13T18:21:11Z

Happy Birthday, PeePee!